The 2 Rules of Trust

Without trust, there is no peace.

Trust: The firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

In this era of digital espionage and deceit who can we trust?

Who do you trust? Who do you trust with your most personal secrets? Who can you trust in this day in age where friends are collected like badges on social media? It is a tricky point to navigate when you hear about the dregs of humanity stealing identities, devouring bank account, and hacking sensitive accounts.

I have been recently reminded how vulnerable we are as we open up to people we don't really know. In the past year, my husband's social security number has been hacked, my credit card number stolen and my name compromised on a social media platform. This has all happened in 365 days. It rendered me helpless, but note hopeless.

First Rule: Don't Trust

Rule number one, don't trust anyone.

Remember the good in humanity-and does not lose sight of the beauty in life.

And after you align your mindset with the foundational principle that everybody has goodness within, understand that there are people in this world whose main objective is to get what they want and they are not constrained by morals or the rule of law.

Ugly, I know.

These are the cold facts.

The elderly are targeted. In 2020, the (FBI) Internet Complaint Center received 105,301 complaints from victims over the age of 60 with total losses in excess of

$966 million. Since age is not a required reporting field, these statistics only reflect complaints in which the victim voluntarily provided their age range as “OVER 60.” Victims over the age of 60 are targeted by perpetrators because they are believed to have significant financial resources.

According to the Wall Street Journal, The Federal Bureau of Investigation said it received more than 241,000 complaints about phishing attempts during 2020, a marked increase from the previous year, as hackers zeroed in on concerns about the coronavirus pandemic and attempted to exploit widespread remote working. Although losses from phishing were down in 2020, at $54.2 million compared with $57.8 million in 2019, the number of reports surged by more than 126,000, the FBI said in an annual report from its Internet Crime Complaint Center, or IC3, published Wednesday. Total complaints across all categories rose by 69%, the FBI said, reaching a record 791,790.

Ask yourself, why are you putting your blind trust in people you have never met?

This may be the attorney in me--or the mom-brain I can never turn off, however, I would feel remiss if I did not offer you these few tips. Consider these cautionary when interacting with unknown entities,

Tips:

• Check Credentials,

• Do Your Research (Google the heck out of everyone),

• Do Business with Local Businesses,

• Ask For Referrals from people you know in "real life" and,

• Trust your gut, if something does not feel right-don't do it.

Second Rule: Trust

The second rule is to trust.

Trust your instinct. Your intuition, if listened to, is a barometer whispering invaluable insight into your daily life.

Intuition is the ability to acquire knowledge without recourse to conscious reasoning. Different fields use the word "intuition" in very different ways, including but not limited to: direct access to unconscious knowledge; unconscious cognition; inner sensing; inner insight to unconscious pattern-recognition; and the ability to understand something instinctively, without any need for conscious reasoning.

Trust this gut feeling that something is wrong or that something is right. When we overthink and rationalize we mute our intuitive compass. At our core, we want to trust others, yet do not dip into naivete. Be smart, proactive, and intentional about your relationships, both personal and professional.

Go back to the basics. Go back to the time when a handshake was just as binding as a contract. Go back to the basics of creating real relationships that stand the test of time. We are a generation where we want things done quickly. We are a generation where we believe our true "friends" are those that follow us on social media. We have collectively lost the essence of the relationship when the pandemic hit and was forced into a lull of virtual connections. Now we have the capability to reconnect and rediscover what the power of an authentic connection feels like,

Coach Jule's Unsolicited Advice:

Invite that friend you have not seen since 2019 over for coffee. Call your neighbor and go for a walk. Or pop in at a local restaurant with the bestie you have been promising a night out with. The power of real relationships is where trust is born.

you got this- Jules

Upcoming Events: Click on Pictures For Details

Dream Bigger. 9 Tips On How To Start Being That Person Who Deserves It.

Explore why most of us are living an unconscious life.

Since I was a little girl, I wanted to write. I wanted to write and deliver my quirky brand of content to the masses. I had an itch in me that told me I was meant for more. I was meant for more than mediocrity. There was a chorus of cheerleaders pounding in my head that told me I was bigger and better than my peers.

The reality was is that I believed in myself. The reality was a champion of motivators surrounded me from day 1. And the reality was that I got distracted. I got distracted from my dreams. I was navigating a path that stopped at marriage, then babies, then divorce, law school, the PTA, a second marriage and so many other stops along the path of least resistance.

Let's be honest, writing a number 1 best-selling book is hard. It is like finding a needle in a needle stack. I resisted the path of what I was called to do with unconscious ease. It was not until I became conscious in my life, that I could ignore the white noise around me. I became conscious of my path and strengthened in my goals.

Within one year of being intentional about actualizing my dreams, I published two books. Within the span of one year, I started a podcast, launched a successful coaching company, and founded a publishing company that will have 8 titles under its belt. Within those 365 days of leading each day with purpose, I became a sought-after keynote speaker. And this all happened within one year.

WE ALL HAVE A DREAM. FEW ACTUALIZE THEIR DREAMS.

When did you stop dreaming? When did you give up on yourself? I know for many we follow paths of expectations. Often we follow our parent's lead and look to our peers for guidance. We are then equipped with a compass that is not our own. When we wake up in our middle life we find ourselves unfulfilled and even more confused.

How can you start being more intentional about your dreams and release yourself from the unconscious strongholds that you have become accustomed to? You have to wake up to your reality. Your reality is what you make it. Your reality is navigated by the story you are telling yourself. This story can be, I am not good enough or I don't have the time. This narrative loop in your head is directing you to an unfulfilled life. Don't you deserve better?

Most of my clients come to me with a deep longing to live the life they were meant to live but are held back by limiting beliefs. Perhaps you wanted to start a catering business, launch a podcast, be an actor, singer, or writer? These aspirations are all possible if you stop sabotaging your potential. Look around you and see the people who support you and discredit your dreams. Attack your life with the same velocity you attack your 9-5 job or your children's upbringing.

It is time to wake up and become a conscious contributor to your life. Going through the motions of your life will reap mediocre results.

START HERE

1. Wake Up To Your Reality-Understand What Is Holding You Back

2. Stop Making Excuses

3. Put Yourself in Proximity of People Who Are Living Your Dream

4. Invest In Yourself-Invest In Self-Care and Get Educated

5. Join Community Events and Workshops-Get Involved In Your Life

6. Ignore The Naysayers In Your Life, Especially When It Is YOU

7. Be Intentional Everyday In Moving Towards Your Dream

8. Understand The Fear That Limits You-Is It Based In Reality?

9. Start Behaving Like The Person You Want To Be

You Got This- Jules

If your dream is to become a published author-join our workshop that will guide you towards this reality.

CHECK IT OUT HERE:

Media Queens | Crown & Compass Publishing House (crownandcompasslifecoaching.com)

When Your Life Is Turned Upside Down

What To Do?

When Your Life Is Turned Upside Down-

Your life seems very different than what it was yesterday.

When we are met with drama, trauma or upset-how do you even begin to rethink or rebuild your life? It is important to ask for help. And it is important to recognize you are not alone.

I recently read this article called "10 Tips for Moving Past Trauma". This article gave me words of wisdom and constructive tools for moving on with life, written by Dr. Kathy Charles. When we are invested in our dreams trauma hits like a blunt force between our eyes.

As we witness our shattered dreams splinter the life we thought we knew it can be paralyzing to pick up the pieces. In your shattered dreams, you were once whole; before the treachery, the lies, and the betrayal. Shattered dreams are sometimes not even about the dream anymore, but instead, they can be about who hurt you or how badly you were betrayed. And most times this is because we have invested so much in our dream that when it falls apart or is destroyed, everything and anything else seems to fall apart with it. Shattered dreams often come with depression because we feel a sense of disbelief that what we had or thought was real didn't really exist at all...and even worse- on how to cope with life's biggest challenges. This article really helped me through my gain clarity. Invest in becoming a student of your life. Read and research as many books and articles as possible about moving past trauma and depression.

When you are met with trauma, drama, or upset what do you need to know?

When your life is turned upside down it feels like everything in your life has been turned around. It can feel very scary not knowing what is going to happen next. We think that we have a hold on our lives and then boom! Something unexpected happens and our whole life is turned upside down. When we are feeling absolutely shattered and our life feels like it has been torn apart, how do we begin rebuilding?

If you are feeling shattered or triggered over again by reading this, reset your mind and ask yourself these simple questions:

1. Is there someone I can talk to about my feelings?

2. Am I able to express how I feel?

3. Who do I know that makes me laugh?

4. What is one positive thing that has happened to me today?

5. Where is the sun rising right now? (you may have to look at a map)

Don't GO It Alone

This may seem counter-intuitive, but when you want to be alone- rethink this. Isolation is the anecdote to your healing.

Truth:

You are not a burden or inconvenience. Find a supportive person or group to engage with because it is what you need right now. Try to remember that there is a world of people out there who will not let you fall. Once your wound is manageable, look to those who are constants in your life. Those constants may be a friend, clergy, or a co-worker. Make the effort to reach out and ask for help and ask for support. Allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for assistance in moving past the events that have left you feeling broken.

If you feel alone, go out and find a friend who will stay in touch with you but also allow you time to collect your thoughts. Make a list of things you can do on your own or with someone else if he/she is available. List your hobbies and how they make you feel good when performing them. Think of people, places, activities that are important to YOU! Remember small things that bring you joy?

When I am feeling low, I carry a little notebook with me. If I am inspired or feeling a complex mix of emotions, I scribble these feelings down. It sounds simple, but the release of putting pen to paper relieves me of my negative thought pattern.

Teri's Story

I have a friend, Teri, who shared a story with me about her young husband's unexpected death after a surgical procedure. Teri's husband, Mike, died after 21 months in a post-surgical vegetative state.

Teri's life change in one day.

Teri and her husband Mike were a young vibrant couple. Mike was a beloved police officer and an integral part of the community. Mike had always been a positive influence in their marriage and assured his wife that everything would be fine.

Unfortunately, the universe had other plans for him.

As the clock ticked, and hours passed, the surgeon finally appeared. The breath was knocked out of Teri as the surgeon delivered the grim news. At that moment she knew that her life would never look the same. The valley of shattered dreams engulfed every inch of her body.

In the depths of her despair and grief, she was overwhelmed by everything. Small tasks were difficult. Getting out of bed and brushing her teeth was a monumental task. Through this veil of mourning, well-meaning friends would ask Teri, what can I do for you? This question brought so much angst in her daily existence because she did not know what she needed. Her mind was a jumble of confusion. Teri made the decision to keep a notebook near her so when she was recognized a needm she could jot it down. Teri began taking notes throughout the day of things she could use help with. And when she would get asked the question, by her caring community, Teri would refer to the list she carried around with her.

Teri recalls, being paralyzed with grief one day and walking into her restroom, and realized she was out of feminine products. She did not have the energy to even go to a store to purchase these items. She scribbled down on her list that she needed these supplies and was able to hand it over to a neighbor. The next morning she opened her front door and she was greeted with a bag, toiletries to last her for months.

When even thinking about rebuilding your life, you need to reach out for professional help. Talk therapy allows a person to talk about everything that is bothering them. Find a therapist who specializes in trauma or depression and will listen. Find someone to be a sounding board and open up a safe space for you to express yourself and heal.

My dear friend, Dr. Sherrie Campbell, a renowned psychotherapist and author of the book, "But It's Your Family", writes that moving past trauma takes time. She also writes that when moving past trauma, a person must take daily steps to move forward in order to recover and heal. If you are feeling shattered or you are met with despair, how do you begin to think about rebuilding your life? You need to find the support of healthy people who will listen and understand what you have been through.

Dr. Sherrie Campbell, says healing takes time and moving past trauma takes a daily commitment to move forward. This daily commitment to take micro-steps is imperative to your journey.

Learn More About Dr. Sherrie's Empowerment Series

My Takeaways: Begin With The Basics.

1) Take care of your physical health - create good eating habits and make sure you get plenty of rest and exercise. If you don't feel well, move slower through the healing process.

2) Create space to express yourself – find someone who will listen without judgement so you can vent, cry, scream or laugh.

3) Journal- even if you write a few words a day, let your emotions flow to paper.

You got this, one small step at a time. -Jules

Get Empowered With Dr. Sherrie Campbell